Odd Things I Want to Share From the Hospital

Q: What do diamonds and men have in common?

A: They can never be too big or too hard!

Peter Piper played pinochle with three sisters. While playing pinochle, Peter Piper’s pecker poked through the paper. After Peter Piper left, the sisters talked in the bathroom. The first sister poured a pot of potpourri. She says “Did you see Peter Piper’s pecker poking through the pinochle paper?” The second sister peppers herself with perfume and says “I didn’t see Peter Piper’s pecker poking through the paper!” The third sister is on the pot and says “You talking about Peter Piper’s Pecker is making my pussy pucker, and I can’t pee!”

A man is driving past a farm, and sees another man fucking a goat. He thinks this is rather strange, but continues his drive to work.  On his way home, he looks for the man again, and doesn’t see him there. He tries all night to forget the man, but when morning came, he couldn’t resist any more. He went to the farm, and knocked on the door. A kid opened the door. The man says “May I speak to your father?” The kid looks over his shoulder and calls out, in a goaty voice “daaaaaaad”

Ever hear of the two gay Scotsmen? They were named Michael Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzmichael!

Then there were the two gay Irishmen named Ben Dover and Phil McCrevis.

For the record, I am home, and published this myself. I love you all, and will post something real tomorrow.


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